


Beheading the Hydra

by freddiejoey



Category: Arthur of the Britons
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-08-30
Updated: 2011-08-30
Packaged: 2017-10-23 06:20:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,977
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/247161
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/freddiejoey/pseuds/freddiejoey
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Arthur has to go back to move forward</p>
            </blockquote>





	Beheading the Hydra

Part One

Kai comes awake slowly, stretching his naked body - and then groans in protest. As he moves, certain muscles object with a sweet aching throb – not, for once from battle or too long in the saddle – well more accurately, not a horse’s saddle……He rolls over and settles back with his hands folded behind his head, grinning, remembering. It has been one of the happiest months of his life, since Rolf’s daughter Alanna eloped with Gawain, since Llud lost his temper more ferociously than Kai can remember for years, since the night when Arthur let his defences down………

In fact, it has been somewhat unreal. Arthur has been so resilient and in high spirits. Kai is endlessly grateful, but still feels as if he should throw salt over his left shoulder every morning. For instance, a messenger had arrived from Gawain and then, hot on his heels, another from Garet – “He attempted to abduct the love of my life on her way to our marriage,” “Arthur, he should have sought your permission before the wedding” – and all Arthur had done was sit, both legs flung carelessly over the side of his carved throne and laughed. “By the time, I get there to knock their heads together, they’ll be back handfast with each other, instead of one being with poor Alanna. Leave them be. It’ll blow over.” Then Mark had come thundering in, all Cornish spittle, wind and piss, blustering out some elaborate tale about his kinsman Herrick’s treachery – and Arthur had simply taken him out hunting. “Llud said something very apt when we were holding the Games last year Mark. He compared Herrick’s influence to a flea’s and your might to that of an elephant. Now, how could a flea really be so irksome? You can hardly even feel its bite.” Mark had narrowed his eyes skeptically, but Arthur merely smiled, apparently untroubled. Everything was seemingly going to resolve itself smoothly.

And so it had proved. Garet and Gawain had come cantering in, perfectly amiably, last week, on their way to do trading on the coast – with Alanna complacently riding pillion. Mark had gone home and quite literally kicked Herrick’s butt into submission. Arthur had had the grace not to look overly smug.

Then, yesterday Arthur and Kai had gone to the forge to inspect some new weaponry. Mark had once shouted at Kai in anger that he was always breathing down Arthur’s neck and he supposed that was exactly what he had been doing. And Arthur had a habit of walking with his hands behind his back, clutching the knife that was always secured to his belt – except that yesterday it had certainly not been his knife that Arthur had been slowly stroking behind him……Kai’s knees had buckled and the blacksmith’s wife, thinking him unwell, had hastened away to bring him a cup of mead and a stool. His brother had had the audacity to remark that yes, he did appear rather pale, while his eyes danced in amusement.

So, all in all, life in and outside the longhouse has been very very nice. Today, Kai knows, Arthur is riding to the monastery at Cadbyri to conduct some business with the Abbott. He would have no doubt left by now and will be away overnight. Well, Kai thinks, he best get out of bed too. He has promised to help Llud repair some thatching on Olwen’s roof and……The door flies open and Arthur strides in, clad in white shirt and skin-tight black breeches, staring wildly around the room. “Oh, there it is.” He snatches up a parchment from the top of his weapons chest. “I’d have had to come all the way back if I’d left this behind. By the way, I’ll be home later tonight. I wouldn’t want to be away from you longer than absolutely necessary.” Kai looks at his brother wide-eyed. Arthur grins, bends down and possesses his mouth in a kiss that feels like a sear and an affirmation . “I love you.” Then he is gone, the door banging behind him. Kai runs his hands through his tousled hair. He’ll have to do a bit of business of his own now, before he goes out to find Llud – and he glances down ruefully at his flagrantly erect cock. Suddenly Kai is smiling like a child presented with an unexpected, unexpectedly wonderful gift. Now, just to be sure, where is that bowl of salt?

The day passes quickly. Kai’s strong hands – so deft when they handle an axe and even a bard’s instrument – are less skilled at handling maslin and it is thirsty work in summer. He takes Llud’s gentle teasing in good part, wondering how his father can do such a better job with one silver hand. It feels good to sit in the sun, late in the afternoon, eating Olwen’s still-warm oatmeal cake and drinking her fruity honey wine. If Kai could choose anywhere to be in all the world at this moment, it would be exactly where he is, right here, right now.

Just after sunset, he goes down to the stables to check on his horse. It has been limping and Leni has been providing bread poultices to put on the smarting leg. Kai is bent over, inspecting the scabbing wound when he hears a familiar firm tread in the straw beside him. “How is it healing?” Kai moves aside so his father can see. “Very well. A few more days and it will be clear. Thanks to Leni.” Llud smiles. Then he looks thoughtfully at Kai. “You look………contented.” Kai grins. “I am, because….” He cannot finish because he is grinning so widely again. “ We’re all sailing through less turbulent waters in the longhouse recently” finishes Llud for him.  
Kai- usually the least suspicious of men- knocks on one of the wooden stable beams. “I just want Arthur to be happy.” Llud chews his lip, reflectively. He seems, for a moment, to be gazing at something from long ago and far away. Then he shakes his head as if to clear his thoughts. “You think that he sometimes doesn’t know how?” Kai shrugs. ‘I think that he often fights it – just as fiercely as he would attack the Picts or the Saxons. I think that he sometimes feels that he has to test the love he is offered to determine if it is real. - to ensure that he won’t suddenly be abandoned.” Kai sees dawning realisation on his father’s face. “You think that is why he allowed you to be Cerdig’s hostage, why he insisted you take Elka and Krist back to their village?” Kai rubs his face against his horse’s warm muzzle. “I don’t know, perhaps. Arthur is weighed down by responsibility Llud. He has been since he was a child. Some things must come harder to him than to others.” Llud puts his good hand over Kai’s and stills its busy movement. “You make him happy. You are always certain of that much, aren’t you?” Kai suddenly feels tears burn behind his eyes. His father pats him lovingly on the shoulder and quietly leaves the stable.

Arthur arrives back earlier than expected, hungrily wolfs down two huge bowls of Leni’s venison stew, gives them an animated account of his dealings with shrewd old Abbott Gavin. Kai listens, but he is also watching Llud closely. Llud appears on edge – as if he is unsure whether to broach a certain subject or not. Twice he opens his mouth to say something and twice he firmly shuts it again. The third time though he plunges ahead, as if he believes that his resolve will fail him if he hesitates again.

By this time, Arthur is lounging in front of the fire, mead cup in hand, Kai opposite him, becoming pleasantly sleepy. Llud’s question startles both of them. “Arthur, how much do you remember of your mother?” Arthur blinks. “My mother? Little pieces of memory I suppose: her smile, the way she laughed, her blue eyes, the smell of the primrose water she liked to wear. Not much, not even her face very clearly any more. Why do you ask Llud?” His father’s voice is very quiet, but persistent. “Do you remember the last time you saw her?” Arthur frowns. “Before she went up north? She came to see me and said that she needed to go away because there was trouble among the tribes on the edges of Saxon territory, tribes that my first father had not managed to properly subdue. She said that you and Kai would be moving in here to the longhouse to take care of me. It was soon after you first bought Kai home. Then she left and two seasons later, a messenger bought the news that my mother had sickened with a fever and died.” Arthur’s voice is equally subdued. Kai has to lean forward to hear, even though he sits very still, listening intently. Arthur tilts his head up toward Llud. “Why do you ask all this now?” Llud sits down in front of him and covers both of Arthur’s hands with his one good hand. “Because I think you have always believed somehow that your mother deserted you in favour of duty and responsibility, that she cared more for her obligations as your first father’s widow than for loving you. But it isn’t true Arthur. She would never have left you without good reason. She cared for you more than anything else in the world. No, your mother did not go north out of observance - she went out of love. She went because she knew that she was dying.”

There is absolute silence. Kai realises that he has been holding his breath and lets it out slowly. He can dimly recall Arthur’s mother – tall for a woman, elegant and supple like her son, the same silky black hair and intelligent blue eyes. Kind to him when he first arrived, a grief-stricken Saxon orphan, - ready with warm arms and a warm smile. She and Llud had been able to laugh together as Llud’s shattered heart mended, fragment by fragment. Then, one day, suddenly she was gone and he and Llud were ensconced in the longhouse with Arthur.

When he speaks, Arthur’s voice sounds rusty from disuse. “Why have you never told me this before?” Llud smiles sadly. “Your mother made me pledge never to tell you. She had begun coughing blood – she knew what was happening and what was inevitable. No healer’s remedies could fight that enemy Arthur. So she went north to her sister. It was what she thought best and she made her decision only out of love and concern for you.” Kai looks up. Arthur is weeping – soundlessly, as he always does. He puts a tentative hand on his brother’s shoulder and is relieved when it is allowed to remain. Arthur takes a deep breath. “What has made you choose to tell me now?” Llud sighs and rises. “Because, as we grow older, we realise that what is sometimes more important is not the past but the here and now. When I made that promise to your mother Arthur, I fully intended to keep it forever. I see clearly now that we were wrong”.

Llud walks to the table and refills their cups of mead. He hands one to Kai and wraps Arthur’s clenched fingers around another. “These last weeks you have been so happy – you and Kai and thus me as well. It has been the sort of life I could learn to want to live for the rest of my days. It is the way of life we all deserve.” He takes a sip of mead and looks at Arthur with love. “Yet I have seen you like this before and then something happens Arthur. You become afraid and you suddenly reject those who care for you- as if your fear of being forsaken runs too deep. That is why I have come to believe that your mother and I did you a wrong all those years ago by not telling you the truth. I think you should have always known that your mother did not abandon you Arthur. And that she would want you to always be happy and be loved.”

Arthur gets up very slowly from the hearth, as if every muscle in his body aches. He reaches out and puts an arm around Llud’s shoulders. “You have only ever done what you thought was right and just and fair. There is no fault in that.” Then he holds out a hand to his brother. ‘Kai?” All at once Kai is acutely aware of how terrified he had been that Arthur would once again shut him out. Weak with relief, he looks at Llud who simply gives a slight assent with his head. Then Llud wraps his cloak around himself and disappears into the night, toward Olwen’s hut.

In the bedroom, Kai bars the door and then leans against it heavily for a moment. He feels completely overwhelmed. He can hardly imagine how desolate his brother must be. Yet now, Arthur appears oddly calm. He climbs into bed beside Kai and kisses him softly. “I’m tired, big brother. Riding to the Abbey and now all this……” Silently Kai fits his fingers in the spaces between Arthur’s and holds tight. He brushes his lips across his brother’s thick dark hair. Arthur settles down against Kai’s warmth and is soon breathing quietly. Still wide awake, Kai looks helplessly into the darkness, a thousand relentless thoughts chasing each other inside his head. Finally, knowing that it’s becoming ever more hopeless, he reluctantly surrenders to troubled sleep. The next morning when he wakes up at dawn, the place beside him in bed is cold. Arthur is long gone.

 

Part Two

By the third day Kai fears that he is losing his mind and on the fourth he is certain that he has indeed become completely moonblasted. That is the day that pretty little Leesa comes preening into the longhouse and earns such a savage tongue lashing for her pains that Llud feels compelled to visit her family’s hut with a conciliatory offering of pheasant. He returns to find Kai pacing like a caged jackal that he had once seen in a Gaulish port. “I should set out and try and find him Llud. If I rode through the night………” Llud puts a gentle restraining hand on his shoulder. “He’s gone north Kai. He’s following his mother’s path. It’s just something that he feels he must do. Haven’t you felt the same, from time to time, about your Saxon birth?” Kai sighs and sits down heavily. “Yes.” His voice is heartsick and extremely weary. He looks up at his father who has gone silent. Then Llud speaks very quietly. “Kai, do you think that I did right in telling him?” Now it is Kai’s turn to place a reassuring arm around Llud. “You acted out of love as you always do.” Llud puts his head in his hands for a moment. “I kept seeing a straight-backed little boy, not eight summers gone, trying to bite back tears because his mother was riding away from him…..and only I knew that she would never be returning.” He sighs. “You know Kai, when Vala asked me not to tell Arthur, I never agreed with her decision. But Arthur was not my son then, as he is now. I had to respect her judgement. And Vala had been educated by the Romans. Perhaps it was that which made her more stoic than the rest of us.” Slowly Llud gets to his feet. Then a rueful smile plays about his lips. “I don’t think we’ll be laying eyes on Leesa for a week or two.” Kai rubs a hand remorsefully across his face. “I was unfair to her. She’s a good girl. I’ll go tomorrow and make amends.” Llud turns back at the door. “It’s a long hard ride north. Give it six more days Kai. If Arthur isn’t back by then, we’ll follow him.” He hesitates and then continues softly, “But you’re not really afraid that he won’t come home are you?” Kai shakes his head. His answer is almost a whisper. “No Llud, I’m afraid that he won’t come home to me.”

It is exactly six days later just before sunset, as Kai is standing in the longhouse, determining what he will need for a journey toward the land of the Picts, that he hears Llud’s delighted shout of welcome. A few minutes later Arthur pushes through the door, looking dishevelled and exhausted. Holding his breath, Kai follows him into the bedroom. Arthur throws his saddle bags into a corner and then suddenly Kai feels himself being held so tightly that he need not worry about breathing at all. “My Kai”. And Arthur simply lies his dusty head on his brother’s shoulder. All at once, Kai recognises that he is almost dizzy with relief – and just how hard he is weeping.

It is difficult beyond endurance to hold his tongue while Arthur baths and is then fussed over by Llud with hot food, a seat in front of the fire and warm mead. Worse when their father packs Arthur firmly off to bed straight after supper. “Time to talk yourselves dry tomorrow. Right now you need sleep –and plenty of it.” Kai cannot fault Llud’s thinking or his concern – Arthur is almost asleep on his feet anyway. But still……..

It is some time in the middle of the night when he awakens to Arthur slipping into bed beside him and nestling down under the sheepskins. He feels his brother stroking the hair away from the nape of his neck and then the brush of his lips like the most tender of sighs. “Forgive me, Kai my heart.” Kai turns over so that they are lying face to face. “What for?” Another wafting kiss, this time at the base of his throat. “For leaving without telling you. I knew that Llud would know where I was going, but….. It doesn’t mean that I don’t love you with my whole heart. It was simply something that I needed to do alone.” Kai returns the kiss, but hard and lingering, crushing his brother’s mouth with his own. “There is nothing to forgive. It was a journey you had to make and I at least understand about the snare of the past. I don’t recall asking for your leave before I leapt on that horse with Roland.” It is only when he feels a dampness against his cheek that he realises Arthur is quietly crying. “Oh little brother…..”

Kai casts around for something comforting to say. He pulls Arthur close against his naked chest, smiling softly in the darkness. “Arthur, do you recall the story from that great book over on the chest? The one Brother Amlodd made us study that year when it seemed it would never stop raining?” He can sense Arthur frowning. “The story of Hercules’ Labours? The Cretan Bull and the Hind of Ceryneia and the Lernean Hydra…….” Kai laughs quietly. “Well, sometimes little brother, I have to admit, that loving you, being in love with you, is a bit like that. Always another man-eating horse to tame and more vicious birds to slay with a slingshot.” Now he can feel Arthur trying to stifle his own laugher as well, lest they wake a serenely snoring Llud. Then suddenly serious, Kai tilts Arthur’s face up toward his own. “The thing is, I don’t care how many bloody centaurs I have to capture as long as at the end of the day, you’re beside me exactly as you are now ………….” Kai hears Arthur sigh contentedly. “ Little brother?” “Yes?” Arthur gives him a rather sleepy kiss on the mouth. “When you rode north, did you find what you were seeking?” There is silence that lasts a heartbeat. “I think so big brother.” “ Good. Then just stay here beside me until the morning.”

It is an absence that wakes Kai. The room is filled by soft pearly grey light - so it is just after dawn. He raises himself on his elbows and looks around. Llud has obviously risen early and Arthur is gone again too – despite the whispered pledges of last night. Kai slowly lies back down. It was to be expected he supposed. After all, it has ever been so with Arthur. He should learn to accept what he has, instead of constantly hankering after what is clearly never going to be. Still only a rich man can miss treasures when they are gone……….The monks would tell him benevolently that a dose of poverty never did anyone harm – but then none of them have ever loved or been loved by Arthur. Hot tears prick behind Kai’s eyes. He blinks them furiously away. More hydras to behead and golden apples to fetch today then……… Better stir himself and go see where his little brother is. He’ll start by riding down to the river. Kai is just pulling aside his sheepskin coverings when he notices Arthur’s boots still lying in an untidy pile on the floor. He frowns. Strange…..wherever Arthur’s gone……It is then that the door flies open – and Kai subsides back on to the bed, overwhelmed by relief and by love. It is Arthur, barefoot, clad only in his brown breeches, grinning audaciously and armed with the two – no three – most substantial horns of mead that Kai has ever seen………….

 

Coda

(Not to be taken too seriously)It's barely an hour later, while Llud is overseeing some work in the forge, that Hereward the Holy rides in. Llud frowns in dismay. Oh dear, this could be tricky. Hereward dismounts fussily and comes striding across to where Llud is standing at the bottom of the longhouse ramp. “Greetings” Llud trys to sound welcoming and cheerful. “Yes, greetings, indeed. I'm glad that someone has reason for exaltation this morning. I certainly do not. The Lord has not seen fit to bestow the blessings on me that he obviously has on you, so that your heart is light. No, my burdens are many and wearisome.” So Hereward is in his usual verbose frame of mind today. Llud's heart sinks further.

Hereward stops in front of Llud who is now guarding the longhouse door – although there is a perfectly sound, quite rotund door sentry standing right behind him. “I need to see Arthur without delay. There are weighty and pressing matters to be resolved. It cannot wait. And I have ridden many leagues to get here.” Llud smiles in what he hopes is a reassuring fashion. “Then you must be tired and thirsty. You'll need refreshment. Come with me up to Olwen's-” Hereward doesn't even allow Llud to conclude his sentence – and he's becoming increasingly annoyed. “I tell you, I need to speak with Arthur. And I'm sure that you have an adequate barrel of mead in the longhouse. Now where is he?” Llud looks at Hereward, biting his lip to stop his amusement bubbling over. “Dear God, if you only really knew little holy man....” he thinks to himself. Outloud, Llud clears his throat. “Arthur is still sleeping. He only returned late yesterday from a journey to his Aunt Lia in the north. He's very tired.” Hereward sneers. “Oh yes, Lia – she who whelped that Cornish tub of lard Mark, by her first marriage.” Llud feigns surprise. “Funny, I thought you had an eye for her at one time Hereward. Didn't she reject three offers of marriage from you before consenting to the alliance with Mark's father?” Hereward is now even more seriously infuriated. “Alright, well if I can't see Arthur, I suppose I will have to settle for you and Kai. Where is Kai then?” Llud begins to feel panic pricking at the hairs on the back of his neck. “Well......Kai is actually.....” Hereward frowns in intense irritation. “Don't tell me. He's just returned from the far reaches of Avalon and is sleeping as well.” “Oh no.” Llud reassures him, “Kai won't have been sleeping (and that much at least I know is true). “No, no Kai is.......”

“Right here” finishes his elder son for him and Kai steps out on to the ramp, swinging his axe with quiet menace and with a face like thunder. Llud breathes an inaudible sigh of relief. Only he notices that Kai is wearing his brother's breeches and that, under his unlaced blue shirt, he is adorned with a freshly blooming garland of red/purple bruises – just as if someone has been gently biting and sucking recently at the tender areas of flesh around the base of his throat. Llud looks down and sees that something else belonging to Kai is also in full exuberant bloom – but luckily Hereward appears to be completely mesmerised by the movement of that ominously swaying axe.

Kai is wintry, breathtakingly splendid and magnificently formidable. He is a resplendent blonde god. Leni peeks out of the window of her hut, becomes utterly transfixed – and allows a whole week’s worth of salve-making to burn to ashes over her hearth fire. Leesa is tripping along to collect water, bouncing her wooden bucket jauntily against her hip - when she too glances up toward the longhouse, is wholly entranced and overbalances headlong into the village trough.

Vaguely, Kai hears the splash, but is too preoccupied with Hereward to be distracted by its cause. “You can’t see Arthur, Hereward. As Llud has told you, he’s sleeping and will be for most of the day. Now, what exactly do you need to know?” His tone brooks no argument or debate. Llud turns away for fear that he will dissolve into uncontrollable peals of laughter. “Well”, begins Hereward in a querulous voice, “There are quite a few matters that need attention and I would like to preface my elucidation of such matters…” He gets no further. Kai gives him an intense stare, brown eyes blazing with determination. “No Hereward, time is precious and a busy day awaits us all. Now, in a speedy fashion, one matter at a time:”  
“My northern defences are inadequate. What I require is…..”  
“Fine. You can take one of our scouting parties back with you until you organise more of your own men to fill the gap. Next.”  
“My warning system to the south needs repair. It is not…..”  
“Ride up with Llud and examine our new warning system above the river valley. It will no doubt suit your purpose. Next.”  
"My treaty with Dirk will need to be renewed by the time the season turns. I am concerned that……”  
“Arthur renewed his treaty with Dirk only last month. The monks made two copies. Take one with you as a guide. Next. "  
“My stocks of breeding cattle need replenishing. My people do not have…..”  
“Very well. When you ride out with Llud, consult with him. Neither Arthur nor I know anything of cattle. Next.”  
“Well, I believe that could be all the urgent………”  
“Good.”

Llud is extremely glad that he has not been asked to contribute even one word to this exchange – he would have been totally incapable anyway. Now he turns back beaming toward Hereward. “I’m glad that’s all been settled to your satisfaction. As I was saying earlier, Olwen has some wonderful mead and her hazelnut cakes are like ambrosia.” Llud smiles placidly at a still-menacing Kai. “We’ll leave you to your calculations of our winter’s work – skins, pottery, jewellery – so much to trade down on the coast soon.” Hereward feels himself being steered in a friendly but no-nonsense fashion away from the longhouse. The door slams behind Kai as he strides back inside and they hear the bar bang resolutely into place.

In the bedroom, Arthur is lying back in bed, completely naked, hands comfortably folded behind his head. The sheepskin coverings are already heavily drenched in mead and some of it still drips in syrupy golden tendrils down his chest and stomach, puddling within the sable pelt glistening between his thighs. Kai stomps angrily in, throwing his axe on to Llud’s bed and ripping off his clothes as he approaches. Arthur bursts into helpless laughter. “Oh Kai, my heart, you are irresistible when you’re enraged. So, did you frighten that old wind bag into next week?” His brother hops toward the bed on one foot, hopelessly entangled in Arthur’s breeches. Finally, he almost falls on top of Arthur, pulls both his feet free, and throws the breeches decisively into a corner. Kai’s mouth creases into a rueful grin. “I hope I scared the finicky old fool halfway into next season. Now, little brother, what exactly was I doing before we were so rudely interrupted?” Arthur returns the grin and kisses his brother hard on the mouth. He slides down Kai’s mead-sodden body until his tongue rests at the root of his brother's majestically erect cock. Slowly, teasingly, he brings his hand all the way up Kai’s shaft, sliding and twisting his palm over the head. “No big brother, I think it was me who was demonstrating wondrous revelations …… here …… here ……there ….. and definitely here …….” Kai begins to chuckle happily. “Little brother, you’re not juicing a damson you know…….. Oh sweet Jesus ………. Arthur please……..Christ I love you………Oh my bloody holy fucking Jupiter……………….”

Seated in the sun, outside Olwen’s hut, Hereward hears the faint echo of Kai’s ecstatic frenzied bellow. He turns a concerned face toward Llud. “I’m sure that was Kai’s voice. Your son seems to be becoming a little excited about something. Perhaps we should go and volunteer our assistance.” Llud smiles serenely. “Oh no, Hereward. I think he’s doing very well. Believe me, those calculations are far trickier than you and I will ever know.” And he contentedly offers Hereward another slice of cake.


End file.
